There is NOTHING sexier than a man in a Porsche, right?

Posted in Liberty lake, Substance abuse with tags , , on August 1, 2008 by paradise tainted

The title of this post comes directly from a question posed to the fancy ladies reading a local lifestyle publication. We are not kidding.

We would like to answer this question.

Our answer: WRONG!

If LOOKS and THINGS are of the utmost importance to you (as we have claimed is the case with many here in our fair city) than we consider you to be one of the fancy people who is completely superficial and shallow.
How about these alternatives to what makes a man sexy:
1. a man who does not abuse drugs or alchohol
2. a man who chooses attending his children’s events over golfing with the boys.
3. a man who loves his wife UNCONDITIONALLY.
4. a man who works hard so his wife can stay home and raise their children
5. a man who is active and interested in raising his children.
6. a man who cooks dinner for the family and cleans up afterwards.
7. a man who takes vacation time so his wife can go away to a sunny and sandy location for a girls weekend away.
8. a man who has integrity and has a high moral charactor.
9. a man who listens to his wife’s challenges and offers compassion and sympathy to her.
10. a man who misses his wife and kids when they are apart.

That’s our top ten list of what makes a man sexy. Please fancies look deeper than the exterior and what things people have. There are great people in this city. You just have to take the time and have the interest to find them.

What makes your man or woman sexy?

Happy residents and Kind Critics

Posted in Bitch-tini's, Blog news, Liberty lake, booze with tags on August 1, 2008 by paradise tainted

If you have been reading the comments posted on this blog you may have come across the two comments submitted by “happy resident” and ” kind critic” . According to their IP addresses they happen to be from the same person. That is beside the point.
I draw your attention to their comments as they are a classic example and assist me in proving my point about the superficiality and conditional freindships which run rampent throughout this fine city.

As kind critic so elequently points out. “maybe IF (this blogger) were more kindhearted, they would (accept us).” Conditions, conditions, conditions. If only _______ than _______. Seems kind of superficial and judgemental. How does this poster know whether we are kindhearted or kindhearted enough?

In closing let us finally clear the air. We do not hate the mermaids. We find the image and ideals they present and which their target audience embraces, to be unappealing and superficial.
Let it be known that we feel the MOTL know their audience and have marketed and targeted their offering remarkably well. Just as this blog may be unappealing to some, there may be an audience and demographic which appreciates this offering. Maybe not. We don’t really care just like having a place to share our thoughts.
That IS OUR OPINION. It is nothing more nothing less. So let’s agree to disagree shall we?

The comments refered to in this posting Can be found in the comments section of the MERMAIDS post.

A correction to the readers of this blog..

Posted in Blog news, Liberty lake, Rumor, booze, scandals on July 29, 2008 by paradise tainted

Saddly a correction has to be made to an earlier post. We indicated that the hottest most controversial topic in the City of Liberty Lake was the intersection of Appleway and Liberty Lake Road. We stand corrected.

Introducing the current number one hot topic… The mermaids. Yes folks since our post making mention of the fish tailed sirens, the number of hits to our blog have tripled. We have had more hits in the last. 36 hours than we had in the first week and a half of the blogs existence.

Check out the posts.. EVERYONE else is!

Let us know your thoughts too :)

How do I make friends in Liberty Lake Washington?

Posted in Bill Clinton, Bitch-tini's, Liberty lake, Mormon cult, Rumor, Substance abuse, booze, phonies, scandals on July 25, 2008 by paradise tainted

One of the interesting things about a blog is that it shows you what search terms people entered into google or another search engine, ultimately resulting in them clicking a link and being directed to this blog. One of the “hits” to this blog resulted from someone searching for “how do I make friends in Liberty Lake Washington”.

I don’t know if I should cry for this person or not. I do know I chuckled alittle bit then I realized the uphill battle this person has in front of them. Making friends in Liberty Lake is harder than Bill Clinton on his best day in the oval office. Please people don’t get me wrong, everyone will seem SO Nice, friendly and interested…at first….finding a genuine friend in Liberty Lake Washington is rather difficult. The residents who are oh so friendly and kind have alterior
motives, you should be on the look out for the following:

1) MORMON CULTIST- Liberty Lake is littered with more than other places with members of the LDS CULT. Outside of Utah or Idaho Falls, you are hard pressed to find another city where you are literally surrounded by the followers of the CON MAN JOE SMITH.
Avoid these phonies At All costs. Yes they seem so sweet, and loving, their motives are self serving and devious. They are pretending to be your friend to get you into the cult. It is a practice called love bombing and you need to guard yourself against the tempting lures that will ultimately
result in your dispair and SADDNESS.
2) MAN HATERS- for a good idea of the superficiality of this group visit the mermaids of the Lake website. (address listed in previous post). These gals are all mothers, most are Married and unhappy. ALL are closeted alchoholics and very very self centered. Unless you want to learn hurtful gossip and become the topic of said gossip avoid at all costs. Their MO for finding new meat is to invite you over for a girls night party of bunco, or event in which a girl friend
is peddling the latest candle, sex toys, or kitchen ware. They are self serving, gossip mongers. You will pay the price of being in this group or event showing up. You, your family and your children WILL become the topic of conversation they share over tomorrows bitch-tini’s. You will either be forced to endure the pain of being made to feel the loser or you will be forced to join them in the gutter. Either way avoiding them is best from the beginning.

3) Rung Jumpers- these are folks who have been outsiders and are looking for their “in”. They too are alchoholics, angry and full of rage. All of which is supressed but all caused by being the outsider for too long. These types have an equally harmful and self serving motive to befriend you. You have something THEY WANT. It could be the house on the lake and access to your boat and beach, could be your attractive spouse, could be your outstanding set of store bought boobs, heck it could even be that you are the house on the block with the swimming pool. Whatever it is, you have it and they see your “it” as a way to begin climbing out of being the outsider. You will be used for the purpose of them attaining whatever you have that they want.

Basically, making friends in Liberty Lake is like being in High School. If your not rich, famous, or Beautiful. Your an outsider. Not so bad because you will not find any true friends on the inside of any of these groups. The outsiders are real, warm and very rare to find. Keep looking, you will spot them if you are looking.

Howz about a nice dose of Liberty Lake Hospitality.

Posted in Liberty lake, liberty lake splash, scandals with tags , , , on July 23, 2008 by paradise tainted

Wanna know what the most controversial, the HOTTEST topic, the cause of more weeping and gnashing of teeth than a one way trip to hades itself is for many residents? It is our cities version of the Sunni Triangle.
It enjoyed a very long run as a topic of debate in the splash editorials, and is yet another display of the lunacy found in a large segment of the Liberty Lake residents. For those still not sure of the subject of this controversy, brace yourselves and prepare to be educated… We are talking about the intersection of Liberty Lake road and Appleway. Yes specifically, north bound travel toward the overpass. Even more specifically, the third lane from the left.
Some background information. When traving north bound on Liberty Lake Road that intersection provides a lane to turn LEFT, a lane to cross Appleway, a SECOND lane to cross Appleway, and a fourth right turn only lane.
Some mental midget wrote an editioral stating that it is RUDE for drivers heading North on Liberty Lake road to use the second lane to cross Appleway. He felt it allowed drivers to cut in front of those waiting in the LONG QUE of drivers waiting their turn to cross, who had been sitting in a backed up lane while a second and equally legal lane sits empty. News flash. Keep queing up like the lemmings you are. Wait through two or more cycles of lights. They made two lanes for a reason. To prevent traffic from backing up to country vista. On the other hand, please continue to use the one “good” lane so I can quickly cut infront of the ignorant.

Here is how it WAS DESIGNED TO WORK, and infact does work in every other city in America. Relatively equal numbers of people que up in both lanes. When you cross and it is time to MERGE most folks let one car get in front of theirs and thing move really smoothly. The system breaks down when the lemmings in the one lane are pissed off and don’t let the others merge over. To you I say I will continue my practice of cutting to the front of the pack by using the other open lane. If my car is in front of your I will be signaling and I will be merging as directed by the street signs. I will merge even if you are not making room for me. If we have a collision and your car strikes mine from behind while I merging, you will be charged with failure to yield, ticketed and your insurance company will be forking over repair money for my car and also paying for the inevitable back and neck injuries I recieve as a result of the collision. Soft tissue injuries are a real bear to diagnose and treat.

So keep that que long, leave my lane open and clear and continue your display of that Liberty Lake hospitality!

Happy motoring.

Mermaids?! In Liberty Lake!!??

Posted in Liberty lake, Rumor, Substance abuse, liberty lake splash with tags , on July 20, 2008 by paradise tainted

We have found the source of the rotten tuna stentch in and around Liberty Lake. The blame is on the mermaids of the lake… “a lifestyle publication” to help all the other mermaids figure out how to be one of the fancy people.

Check it out here:
www.mermaidsofthelake.com

We found it to be stomach turning… Yuck!

Just when you thought we had it all, golf carts and alchohol.

Posted in booze, golf carts, kids, liberty lake splash on July 18, 2008 by paradise tainted

How could this lovely city have exhisted so long without a booze store? Thank goodness we now only have to journey to the strip mall to grab our quick fix.

Yes imagine the ease in which the stepford wives can drown their sorrows while the kids play and run around at the next showing of the Incredibles in the park.

“Honey, while your out getting the chips for our picnic in the park, don’t forget to pick up a quart of tequilla for the margaritas where bringing.”

Talk about family fun. Afterwards the family of 5 all pile onto their golf cart for a quick ride home. Good example folks. It isn’t a DUI if your driving a golf cart, right?

If the familys are still letting their minor children drive throughout the town in the golf carts it has to be ok for mom or dad to drive them when drunk.

I am just waiting for the first golf cart involved fatality to hit the front page of the LIBERTY LAKE SPLASH. It isn’t a matter of if. It is a matter of when.

A note in passing.

Posted in Substance abuse, booze, kids with tags , on July 18, 2008 by paradise tainted

By pure coinsidence, I found myself parked in front of the LIBERTY LAKE booze consessionaire today at 3:00pm.

You would think they where giving that poison away! The line by my count was 9 deep and in the few minutes I was sitting there I counted 5 folks enter. Someone’s thirsty!

I guess the hot weather has all the stepford wives really on edge because the lil’ ones are finding it too hot to play outside.

Bottoms up!

city of liberty lake library.

Posted in Liberty lake with tags on July 17, 2008 by paradise tainted

I am shocked that the citizens of this city did not approve the 9.8 million dollar bond recently. This would have allowed us to build a (((gulp)))) library.?

Thank you for saying no to this waste of our resources. Those who supported the Library bond are Fools. To them I say, Wake up! Think about this for a moment it is not 1978. Libraries are a thing of the past. We have the Internet, with literally billions of online reference materials and other online source material.

Those of you still interested and see a need for a state of the Art public library, I have a set of encyclopedia britanica’s I would love to sell you.

What have they done?

Posted in Liberty lake, scandals with tags , on July 17, 2008 by paradise tainted

Ever wonder about that smarmy neighbor of yours? How about your biking buddy, or your friends from the Bunco group?

Well to help spread safety peace and harmony through-out the City of Liberty Lake, below in the blogroll section, you will find a link to the Washington State Court system.

Hit the link, enter the name of the folks you want to get to know better and you may be in for more than you bargined for!

If you find anything interesting about one of our citizens. Pass it along.